Grip ‘n Glide: Massage Therapy’s Metaphor for Life

I am proud to have succeeded in an “encore career” as a licensed massage therapist.

I retired from the University of Dayton in December 2014 after 41 and one half years in numerous administrative roles. After 10 months in retirement trying to capture the essential elements of community building as a guest of the Kettering Foundation, I decided to make a cleaner break with the past and do something less cerebral. Life is a combination of mind, body, and soul, but most of the life of a university and a think tank is intellectual and ignores the significance of bodies and souls in defining who we are as human beings.

I was 64 and getting regular massages from Kaleigh Clodfelter, a wonderful therapist whose strength far exceeds her diminutive physique. She is also a good listener. Kaleigh told me what was required to become a massage therapist and, in November 2015, I enrolled in the Dayton School of Medical Massage. A year later, I was licensed as a massage therapist by the State Medical Board of Ohio for what was then called the “limited practice of medicine.” Life as an LMT has provided countless life lessons, and the diversity of clients has given me a better understanding of our divided society. The art and science of massage are rich with metaphors.

A good massage cream or lotion must enable the therapist to both grip and glide. Over the course of the first five years and 2300 massages, I came to think of the basic purpose of the massage cream that I use in my work as a metaphor for much of life. I have long enjoyed the lyrics of a Glenn Campbell song that says “You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run,” As a student of literature, I have read hundreds of stories whose themes involved balance. In massage, you have to know when to grip the muscles and fascia and when simply to glide gently over the client’s skin. If a massage is entirely one or the other, the effects are neither therapeutic nor relaxing. Most people seeking massage want one or the other or both.

Persistence is gripping activity. To get things done, to achieve, to solve problems, each of us has to learn to grip onto the realities of our life. I would say that I have lived most of my adult life and all of my professional life in the gripping mode. Making and maintaining relationships, succeeding in school, performing professionally, and raising children all require persistence to succeed. We hold onto our goals and expectations and grip challenges in the same way a massage therapist holds firmly or compresses targeted muscles and the fascia that permeate our bodies and enable us to move.

One of the great lessons of what Richard Rohr calls the “second half” of life is that there is more to life than all of the important achievements of the first half. While there are still gripping realities, seniors are privileged with more time to glide. This is not just about travel and sleeping in late, both of which are often benefits of our later years. Gliding is also about maintaining a mental freedom to engage what is before us or to let it pass, to act or react to the world around us or simply to observe and reflect, to do or simply to be. There is no formula here. We are each able to decide for ourselves how much gliding to do. The point is that for most of us, not all, there is an alternative to persistent accomplishment.

It is easy and fairly common for us to see others as being either too focused on achievement or too willing to let things “roll off our shoulders.” I want to affirm that we all have to balance life as we choose. However, what I have learned repeatedly in this reflective time of my life is that we tend to grip or glide largely due to the expectations of others, planned work or vacation time, or habit. What now seems to me to be healthier mentally and physically is to seek to balance persistent achievement with rest and reflection continuously throughout our lives.

It is significant to me that the metaphor of grip ‘n glide comes from massage. As I sought to find balance in my own life after retirement, the work of massage seemed to be the antithesis of the work of academia. But I was wrong. A year’s worth of study of anatomy and physiology convinced me that my intellect was still very much engaged. But I came to see the human body as a dynamic interplay of mind, body, and soul. The art and science of appropriate therapeutic touch combine physical, mental, and spiritual. As a massage therapist, I am invited to help others find a time and place in otherwise “doing” lives to simply “be.” Does this sound silly or exaggerated? It is neither. Here are a few examples to demonstrate what I mean. These are fictional composites of actual cases.

One client, a woman in her fifties, sees massage as her escape. As we work through her muscle groups and talk, it is clear that she is not looking forward to going back to her real world of stress at home and at work. As her muscles begin to soften, I introduce a few stretches to give the pliant muscles a chance to recalibrate, to find a new normal. Muscles have microscopic devices called sarcomeres that telescope in or out depending on the activation of sodium or potassium “gates.” To relax them, compression and stretching must be interrupted  by occasional rest.

As I lead my client through her stretches, we chat. She realizes that working on her diet, breathing deeply, and stretching are important to being able to keep up with her responsibilities. It’s a mind/body moment. It also becomes seriously spiritual as she shares what really matters in her life and why she needs to find a better balance. I stay silent after this so we can both reflect on our life purposes.

A man in his thirties comes to see me for persistent lower back pain. He is physically fit and works out regularly. As a software engineer, he spends more than 60 hours per week at a computer screen, or two. As we move from his back to his glutes and thigh muscles, he is surprised to learn that his fitness is limited to strength. While he is strong, even powerful, he clearly sits long enough daily to shorten his gluteal muscles, piriformis, and both his quads and hamstrings. As these muscles lose their tension his pelvis, lower back pain at and around attachment sites and the path of the sciatic nerve result.

My client needs to get up and move throughout his work day and to stretch before it begins. This high achieving man must pay more attention to what his body tells him. Balance will require some simple walking, even if it cuts into working out. Besides the mind/body insight here, my client also asks himself out loud whether it is more important to rethink his daily routines or to just fix the pain when it occurs with pain killers. The spiritual conversation here is within him. I think he’s asking himself “What is my purpose here”?

Massage is strongly spiritual for many. Peaceful sounds, the smells of essential oils, dimly lit environment, and a warm table all contribute to the possibility of a spiritual experience. My clients are usually quiet and meditative. Therapists are encouraged to respect their clients’ desires for retreat from the outside world. The opportunity for massage clients to engage their spiritual selves is largely why it is popular. Massage does not work as well when clients are making to do lists in their heads. When prompted to still their minds and bodies, many clients report a dream-like state in which they permit themselves spiritual time in whatever form they find. For some this is prayer, others focused meditation, and others a feeling of being one with the world.

My first gallon of massage lotion was full of powerful insights!